The sins of my youth
by huntressed
Summary: She was sent to assassinate the person who killed Sara Lance in order to finish off the blood debt that The Canary left. But when she heads over to Starling as a girl who never really had much in life, she meets Roy, someone who had too much of life to handle.
1. Prologue

When life throws you down and drops you hard on the ground, you have to get back up no matter the cost. If a person did that to you, never hesitate to strike back.

That was the mindset taught to me by my cousin, Talia.

At a very young age, Nyssa taught me how to throw knives, daggers, and everything sharp that you can throw in general. I was taught how to read body language and know when to strike back or not. It seems absurd, but I was already a trained assassin at the age of twelve. I could take down opponents stronger than me; I've beaten one of the strongest members of the League, thus, making me a valuable asset to them.

That's how most of my childhood went; training to kill without mercy. It was definitely not a normal childhood

"Nocturne, you are being called by the master."

I looked up snapping way from my reverie before standing up and dusting my jeans off. And I went straight to my uncle's "throne" room – or whatever the hell they call it – to know who I'm going to murder this time.

The only time I'm ever in that room is when I'm assigned a new person to kill or severely inure. He barely talks to me about certain family ties—I wouldn't be surprised, though. He never really got along with my mother.

"Nocturne, it's nice of you to come by. I'm sure you know why you're here, yes?"

"Yes. You are to assign me a new person to kill, aren't you?" I replied, raising my eyebrow. If he didn't call me in for a mission, then it would be a miracle.

He chuckled darkly and gave me a devilish grin. "You are one of the best assassins around and I want you to do this one. You are called Nocturne for a reason, am I right? And what exactly is that mission, my dear niece?"

Definitely a mission on this one. I took a deep breath before answering his question, "I am called Nocturne because I am active throughout the night. Invisible during the day, but I make myself known to dominate once the sun sets. I make sure to get everything done before the sun rises as long as the moon is up, my reign will never end."

He clapped in hands in satisfaction of my answer, "Very good, Nocturne. This is why you're among our highest ranks in the League. You know what you are doing, and you are very capable of doing it without hesitation. Now, for your mission, do listen because this is quite… complicated."

I inspected my nails and waited for him to speak once more.

"As you know, Sara Lance has been killed four months ago by Thea Queen—" I cut him off before he could even say another word.

"_Thea Queen?_ How did you get your hands on this kind of information?" I asked him, although I was never taught to speak out of turn when talking to Ra's Al Ghul, he's my uncle. And I can talk to him without the formalities as his niece.

He glared at me before clearing his throat once more. "Well, I couldn't see why you don't have a right to know. This information was disclosed to me by Tati, also known as The Owl for her knowledge. She definitely had to risk a lot in order to get that information, but she obtained it. And we gave her the reward for that. Nevertheless, you are to kill Thea Queen as a tribute and an end to Sara Lance's blood debt."

My breath got caught up in my throat. The Canary was killed by none other than her past lover's own little sister. If I was Sara's sister, I would never be able to live with that. Sara was inducted to the League back in two-thousand and eight; I was eleven back then. Even at such an early age, I am trained almost to the peak of my potential, only giving room for more improvements when I turn older. That would basically mean that I was stripped away of innocence at my early days.

The first interaction that I had with Sara is the first night of her stay in Nanda Parbat. She's entitled to her own quarters, and eventually, she was roomed in with me. She asked me why I am there, clearly stating that a place like that is no place for a child after seeing the various trainings that would often strain and hurt your body.

I only answered with, "I am born into the League of Assassins. This is where I should be." It was only half-true, though. I was never really born into the League of Assassins; I was only raised _here._ I was the daughter of Ra's Al Ghul's illegitimate sister and her good-for-nothing husband. Somehow, my father left my mother for another woman before I could even speak. It drove my mother insane to know that the man she loved too much would replace her for another woman. She left me under the tutelage of my uncle days before she killed herself.

Sara found out about my real parentage a few weeks after our first interaction. I remember the exact words she said to me: _"You deserve a better life than having to train for murder. You deserve innocence. I'm sorry you had to go through all of that." _

I shook my head in attempt to get rid of all these memories. There is no place for reminiscing in such a violent place.

"Why didn't you ask Nyssa? After all, Sara _was_ her lover." I told him.

"Nyssa is not fit for this. She has made a lot of appearances in Starling City. Not to mention it would only result in a gory blood fight if she is to kill Thea. She would make sure that the girl dies a painful death for killing The Canary. As for you, you would kill her in her sleep, making sure that no pain comes to the people you have killed."

"Your point is?" I asked him, bored out of my mind at this very long discussion.

His grin that I've learned to hate, has returned. "If I handed the job to you, you would make it so quick and easy that I wouldn't even have to blink to see the girl's name on obituaries."


	2. Chapter 1

I arrived in Starling City three days after my mission was assigned to me. Surprisingly, Ra's Al Ghul agreed to let me stay for a few months, even buying me an apartment as my "late sixteenth birthday gift". To me, I translated that part more of a reward-in-advance-for-killing-Thea Queen. But it didn't really matter. I'm treating this mission as my vacation, and a getaway from Nanda Parbat.

Every mission, I get so enthusiastic on leaving Nanda Parbat because it's the only time where I could be _free._ Even though my freedom comes with a price (someone else's life), I make sure that I do it. Losing my innocence at a very early age meant that I'm willing and ready for everything life throws towards me. It was the way I was raised by my two cousins.

Come to think of it, Ra's never really showed any uncle potential, or any parental traits. The question of how the hell he raised his two daughters always popped into my mind. He was always cruel and vindictive. My uncle being capable of love was almost an impossible thought.

With a fake identity and fake age given to me, my mission would be fairly easy and not-so-complicated. Everything can be done by doctoring a couple of documents and having them made in a realistic manner. This is Tati and No's job back in Nanda Parbat. They've been doing this ever since they got inducted to the league. Their forgeries looked real enough and can easily fool the FBI. Believe me, I've had enough experience to prove that factual real as it can be.

The apartment my uncle got for me is satisfying. I already have a couch, a TV (flat screen surprisingly), a bed, and everything else I needed. Heck, he even gave me an internet connection. These days I would really be thankful of having him as my uncle, if only he wasn't the leader of a group of murderer's.

Currently, I'm sitting on the couch while watching a TV show called "FRIENDS". It amused me enough to have me stuck on the couch with nothing but a pack of chips in my hand.

I have made my decision not to venture into any killing until I have made my stay here more comfortable. I've only been here for a few hours and I'm not going to start off my three month "vacation" with a murder. I may have been raised in an environment laced with violence, but I know how to live peacefully and away from murder for even just a few days.

And besides, I have three months to spare, so why the rush? I have to do my job halfway through my stay in order to make it become _less_ suspicious. I know with all the vigilantes running around, my life wouldn't exactly be safe if I made my move too early.

It's not just about doing it quickly, it's also all about the timing. No wonder why Ra's placed me in this. He knows that I'm one of the quickest killers and the smartest. I will think before I will kill, and I will make my move once I've figured out how I can go unnoticed.

It's funny because most assassins just come and do their job, escaping very quickly after they've finished. With that, tracking them is very easy and they would be in the Most Wanted list for the rest of their lives. But what's funnier is that they seem to enjoy being on the "wanted" list. Their lives revolve around the enjoyment of taking someone's life away that they don't even want to think about the consequences of their actions.

I am far from that, _very far._ Even if I'm one of the most sought after assassins in the world, I am not one of _them._ Given the fact that I am born and trained for this kind of job, there wasn't much of a choice. I have to do as I am told, and kill with no remorse or whatsoever.

But I'm still a girl, and I want nothing more than to just venture out of this hellhole that I entered and called a "life". If my parents didn't die, and my mother didn't lose her mind, I would have been raised differently. I would as normal as I can be and I'm not going to feel every single pang of guilt whenever I fall asleep at night.

If that is what you can call normal, then I am not interested in the kind of world you live in.

Huffing, I turned off the television, got dressed into some jeans and a simple shirt, and went out of the apartment. If I wanted something that you call "normalcy", then I guess exploring the city would be my first step to achieving something such as that. Besides, I'd appreciate the knowledge of the ins and outs of Starling City if I were to make my escape quickly.

The air reeks of burnt gas and everything that came from combustion of fuels. I guess this city is big on vehicles, then. I had to cover my nose to prevent myself from inhaling anything else that could damage my lungs, even on a minimum level.

I entered a tea shop just down the street and ordered a to-go cup of chamomile tea, probably the only drink I tolerate well enough to drink in and out of Nanda Parbat. My uncle would always ask for his warriors to drink tea, we never really understood why since both my cousins never bothered to explain. But to question the ways of the demon, is to question the ways of the League. I don't want to be in trouble for that.

With that, I went out and just walked and roamed the sidewalks. The city has its fair share of beauty, if I may say so myself. But there are just some places in which I don't want to engage myself in. I've heard enough about Starling City from Sara Lance, herself. She described it as a wonderful city with eventual horrors hanging from the sides.

Crimes, drugs, and thievery all in one place. Who could ever forget the Glades?

The thought of that place alone sends shivers down my spine. Al Sa-Her had his wife murdered in the Glade's subway before the League of Assassins took him in their foundry. The fact that he could go to such lengths just to protect his family is noble, but embracing the fact that he _is _a cold-blooded killer filled with anger and rage, it is unacceptable.

To kill with no remorse or whatsoever is inhumane as it is impossible. Even me, a highly trained and skilled assassin feels guilt _every time _I murder someone who eventually has a family, a loved one to come back to, dreams for his or herself, promises meant to be fulfilled.

And to see people from the League _kill _and find _pleasure _in killing, it makes me feel nauseous.

But I have to tolerate and respect them, after all, they are the ones who raised me and turned me into who I am today. Although I am not proud of it, I am thankful that they raised me up to be a strong girl who's highly capable of doing things independently without needing the guidance of others. It was the advantages of being raised in Nanda Parbat, you grow up with the free will on making your own decisions. Besides, Ra's Al Ghul along with his two daughters wouldn't have time to steer a child into the right direction (if it is even the _right _one), so I do have to be alone and independent.

I found myself sitting on the swing sets by the park, admiring the children and the way they seem to enjoy life so much. Their little smiles just explains that they had a far better off childhood than I did, and I couldn't help but to feel jealous.

If they could be happy, then why can't I?


End file.
